Having Babies Is Hard: The Grace We Need in Labor Pains

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“Something is stabbing me in the back!” I yelled at my husband. When he didn’t jump to his feet to dislodge the knife, or the needle, or whatever else had impaled my spine, I screamed to him again: “Help me! I’m being stabbed!”

Eyes wide, he turned to the nurses. What was wrong with me? Should he do something? Careful to avoid my line of sight, both women shook their heads. One leaned in, whispering, “She’s just in labor.”

No New Pain

No small amount of aches and pains accompany pregnancy, labor, and delivery. From the usual symptoms, like nausea and fatigue, to the more surprising ones (no expectant mother really expects to start having dental troubles), to the contractions that shock the bravest of husbands, childbearing confronts us with the reality of mankind’s rebellion and God’s just response.

We ask pregnant women, “How are you feeling?” from weeks one to forty and beyond because, Christian or not, everyone knows that having babies is hard. Even today, in the age of germ theory and prenatal care, medications, and C-sections, mother and child alike can still lose their lives in any trimester. Given the choice, I suspect many moms would opt for the ER over L&D. Pregnancy can be that terrifying, and labor and delivery that excruciating.

Christian moms know why: Genesis 3. Sin entered the world, and the word’s sinless Creator responded. To Eve he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children” (verse 16). When our first parents looked for life apart from God, the one to whom they owed life itself, he rightfully declared that bringing forth life would now be painful — and, in the end, futile (verse 19).

And though the curse’s effect on childbearing makes a debut in Genesis, the Bible abounds with allusions to its intensity. The apostle John describes the “sorrow” and “anguish” that a mother feels while giving birth (John 16:21), and Paul himself uses labor to convey his torment over the Galatians’ stunted spiritual growth (Galatians 4:19). As Micah 4:10 puts it, “Writhe and groan, O daughter of Zion, like a woman in labor.”

Without an epidural (and sometimes even with an epidural), “writhe and groan” is right. Sin hurts, and an expectant mother duly cries out — indeed, all creation echoes her pain (Romans 8:22). Nurses say, “She’s just in labor,” because that’s how childbearing works in a fallen world.

Even so, we do well to remember that the curse isn’t the only thing coursing through pregnancy, labor, and delivery. If we look closely not only at Genesis 3 but also Genesis 2, we’ll see that mankind’s rebellion did not speak the loudest, most lasting word in the garden. Grace did.

Grace Begets Billions

Have you ever seen estimates of human history’s birth rates? Flash back to America’s founding in 1776, and you’d find 13 colonies and less than 3 million colonists to fill them. As of today, more than one hundred times that amount call the country home. Then step back and consider the entire planet. Before 1900, Earth contained less than 2 billion; today, over 8 billion people. In 2023 alone, 134 million babies let out their first cries in hospitals and houses around the world. In a word, since God breathed creation into existence, we can only begin to imagine the number of newborns who’ve taken a breath.

“Christ’s death makes new life worth conceiving, new life worth carrying, new life worth delivering.”

On the basis of Genesis 2, however, how many babies ought there to be? When God set Adam among Eden’s luxuriance, he invited him to eat of every tree but one. The day that tree should be tasted — that day, God warned, man would die (Genesis 2:17). Creation’s first people would be creation’s last people, and never would Adam and Eve enjoy the blessing of filling creation with more people. So, on the basis of Genesis 2 alone, how many babies ought there to be? Zero. Not one.

But because God’s person and plan — not our sin and rebellion — is the surest basis of creation’s story, an unimaginable number of babies have been born. The Bible has more than three chapters, the Earth more than two people, because the God who justly punishes is also the God who abundantly pardons (Exodus 34:6–7).

When Adam and Eve sinned, God did not smite them on the spot. Instead, he sought the place to which they’d fled, asked questions, and listened (Genesis 3:8–13). He would cast them from his presence, curse their labors, and declare that death awaited them (verses 17–19). But for now, that day could wait. Adam and Eve still had life to live and babies to make because the God of grace would still have sinners for himself.

Since then, a mind-numbing number of people have followed Adam and Eve — a number to which you may be contributing. But that number should do more than make our brains hurt. It ought to electrify our hearts with praise. Your pregnancy, with all its difficulties, exists because the God who fashioned everything, from the largest nebula to the lightest newborn, is not only powerful and just but also gracious.

Why Babies Are Worth Having

The fact that human life even exists (let alone inside our own bodies!) should astonish us. But is it enough to sustain expectant mothers? When our bodies feel crushed by the curse’s physical effects, when our minds remember that death calls for both us and our babies — what then?

Genesis comes to our aid once more. If at first chapters 2–3 depict God as death-denier, they likewise reveal him as death-destroyer. In the very moment that God cursed creation, he also promised a means for its restoration. From Adam and Eve’s offspring — the children that sin would have thwarted, the babies made possible only by grace — a Savior would come (Genesis 3:15).

The Bible has more than three chapters, the Earth more than two people, not ultimately because God still wanted to create people. No, he wanted to save people. He had shown his glory as Creator, and he would show his glory as Redeemer, as Father. His Son would take on human flesh, trample Satan, sin, and death under his feet, and deliver God’s children back into his arms.

We are privileged women. Eve bore children with sights set on the One who was to come; we labor in full view of the blood-stained cross where he hung. His death makes new life worth conceiving, new life worth carrying, new life worth delivering. For any mother and any child who believe in him, though they die, yet shall they live (John 11:25). The curse may linger on, but it’s as good as crushed wherever Christ is concerned.

Shining, Expectant Stars

Expectant mothers, do we believe this? The more we do, the more we’ll be able to groan beneath the curse’s weight without grumbling about it. Our babies have a chance not only to live but to rise. And as we wrestle to bring them safely into this fallen world, God promises to use our pain to help see us home (Romans 8:28).

The sovereign God of the universe chose your symptoms and set your due date before Earth had seen a single sunrise, and he did so with your good in mind. One contraction at a time, he will see you “conformed to the image of his Son” (Romans 8:29). He will be glorified in you, and you will be happy in him. Your sufferings will help to make sure of it.

Which means: First-trimester fatigue, spine-stabbing labor, second-degree tears? Yawn, nap, cry, clench, grimace — but do it “all . . . without grumbling” (Philippians 2:14). Gratitude, not grumbling, befits Christian moms. All three trimesters of pregnancy, every hour of labor, each week after delivery — as full of fear, discomfort, or agony as they may be, if you are in Christ, grace runs through them.

Remember this, groan without grumbling, and then “shine as lights in the world” (Philippians 2:15) — a world that knows having babies is hard but neglects to praise the God who makes babies possible and worth having.



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