So, if you are so buried that these are your day-to-day issues, don’t worry. If you are willing to take the tiniest step possible that can show you too can progress and have a more balanced life, I am here for you. Please reach out.
How to stop people-pleasing
Now, what is left is some quick and easy advice for you to follow and stop the danger of being a people-pleaser:
- Practice saying no. Everything takes practice, even saying “no.” As advised above, practice with some family and friends, and if they can’t support you, it means they are not worth keeping in your life.
- Set boundaries and time limits. Don’t quit cold turkey; as with everything, gradual is better. Take different situations to start to set those boundaries, and also make sure to put some limits on how much time you invest.
- Self-care and self-love. This one is a no-brainer. Do something for yourself, even if it’s a little, but something every day. Little by little, you will learn to give yourself some priorities.
- Seek professional help. You are not alone, and if you are dealing with any of these problems, you are not alone. Contact Crisis Text Line if you need support. On top, I will be happy to help you add yourself to my healing list and support you with some personalized free healing, too, so feel free to reach out.
Conclusion
How to stop being a people pleaser is something that you need to know and apply in your life if you see too much people pleasing behavior on a regular basis. You only need to want to take more care of yourself.
How to not be a people pleaser is possible, not right after reading this, but with some day-by-day practice and effort. You are the most important person in your life, and you need to take proper care of yourself.
FAQ
Q: What does it mean to be a people pleaser?
A: A people pleaser means you are always putting others first, often sacrificing your happiness and well-being for fear of rejection and repression.
Q: Is people-pleasing the same as being kind or generous?
A: No, because a people pleaser will always need validation from a fear of rejection, almost as if expecting something in return (normally care or attention), while someone kind simply does it because they feel like it, expecting nothing.
Q: What are the common signs of people-pleasing behavior?
A: If you are avoiding conflict at all times, worried about other people’s opinions, and overcommitting to everybody, you have a people-pleasing behavior from a low self-esteem point of view.
Q: Why do people become people pleasers?
A: Normally, because of childhood trauma, fear of rejection, leading to low self-esteem, and social conditioning can lead to this behavior.
Q: Can low self-esteem lead to people-pleasing tendencies?
A: Low self-esteem leads to people-pleasing tendencies because, while you don’t find yourself worthy, you will always put others first and almost feel that you are here to only give to others. If you don’t give to yourself, you won’t be able to give to others.
Q: How does trauma contribute to people-pleasing?
A: If you are a people pleaser because of fear of rejection or confrontation, you are likely drawing this fear from your childhood years, where you experienced a traumatic situation and experienced these emotions too intensely.
Q: What are the negative effects of always trying to please others?
A: When you are constantly following a people-pleasing behavior, you lose self-esteem and become emotionally exhausted, bringing relationship issues while rendering you empty and lifeless.
Q: What are some strategies to stop people-pleasing?
A: Take the smallest step to at least get started with one of these: avoid over-apologizing, say no when necessary, prioritize your needs, and practice self-compassion.
Q: When should someone seek help for people-pleasing behavior?
A: If you feel your behavior is destroying your relationships, blocking you from feeling well, and only reinforcing burnout, but you can’t do anything about it, make sure to both follow the advice of those who love you truly and, on top of that, if necessary, seek a professional mental health professional.
Q: Can therapy help someone stop being a people pleaser?
A: Yes, therapy can be super helpful to unlock the hidden reasons in your unconscious mind that are making you feel the need for constant external validation and low self-esteem.
If you are a people pleaser, don’t worry; you only need to take one small step by starting to do something for yourself and not allowing anything to prevent it. If you can do this, you are already starting a big change. To keep on the subject, somewhat, the subject next week will be about the behavior of a self-sabotaging relationship, where, due to your conscious or unconscious behavior, you are pushing your partner away. Stay tuned for next week!
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