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Abandoned Films
The Most Environmentalist Woman in the World (Dos Equis AI Commercial)
She bottles her flatulence to keep her carbon footprint down.
She says climate change is killing the coral reef as she lathers on sunscreen and snorkels in the reef.
She once chained herself to a tree for the selfie.
She said the world would end in 10 years 30 years ago.She flies to climate conferences first class.She uses crystals instead of deodorant.
She once lectured a starving African boy mining for cobalt how he is stealing her childhood.She’s plant-based unless someone orders wings.
Her armpit hair has dreadlocks.
She doesn’t have any actual kids but has adopted seven Haitian families to come live in your town.Her catchphrase is “How dare you?”
She refuses to drink bottled water unless it’s from Coachella.
Instead of driving, she runs in Nikes made by Uyghurs in a Chinese concentration camp.
She owns 47 tote bags and still forgets to bring them.
She gives out bamboo toothbrushes on Halloween.
She is the most environmentalist woman in the world. I don’t always drink, but when I do, it’s from a coconut I flew in from Bali.
Stay reusable, my friend.
H/T Mumbles McGuirck
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