My birthday is always over Labor Day, so I’m usually with friends and kids outside in nature for a few days – my preferred state of being. But I’m not going to lie that 46 feels a lot older than 45, and inching towards 50 has made Brian and me definitely think more about our future, future. We adulted hard this year (with help). We finally did a proper will/trust (so annoying but so nice to have it down). We both did extensive preventative blood work (Function Health – mixed reviews TBH), and now I’m starting a statin (genetically high, persistent bad cholesterol) and possibly some HRT. I have inflammation around the heart and low white blood cells, with no symptoms, which was rather enlightening/scary. It feels good investing in our health, but our first colonoscopy is in a couple of weeks, which doesn’t sound terribly fun. And whenever I think about amping up work, doing something bigger, growing in the design/media world, I remind myself that I have 6 and 8 more years with the kids at home and then decades afterwards to explore any career stuff I want. I listen a lot to Daniel Pink (The Power of Regret) and Arthur C. Brooks (From Strength to Strength). Everything is an “opportunity cost”, and the opportunity to hang out with my family over trying to explore my career is winning for the next 6-8 years while they are home (which I realize is a privilege, obviously). Anyway, this summer was all about family, connection, and nature – the PNW is glorious and we try to STACK it all in (including a lot of long shoots while we have so much beautiful natural light). So here’s what we did:
June: Brian And I Alone Trip To New York
Brian and I realized that this summer was our 25th “dating anniversary,” which he laughs is not a thing, and I absolutely disagree – still really liking/loving each other after 25 years is special, so you BET we are going to celebrate. The kids flew down to Sacramento to stay with Brian’s parents for a week (truly a gift), so Brian and I flew to New York just the two of us for fun for 5 nights or reliving our 20s. Brian planned the entire thing, full of food, three Broadway plays, and a trip down memory lane.
We visited our studio apartment in the East Village we lived in in 2001, had drinks at the same bars (wild!), and were so reminded of how energetic and diverse that beautiful city is.
We were lucky enough to see Cole Escola in their last weekend in Oh, Mary (speechless, so hilarious) as well as The Outsiders (so many tween/teen boys in the audience, which made me cry!), and Maybe Happy Ending (excellent, Brian and I both cried – incredibly moving).
The restaurant highlights were La Mercerie at The Guild (stunning and delicious), The Corner Store (super sceney in a fun way and also delicious), Cafe Mado (worth the trip to Brooklyn), and Kabawa (mind-blowing – #4 in all restaurants in the NY Times).
We also had some restaurant misses and didn’t sleep very well (not used to the city sounds), and we likely stayed out WAY too late most nights, but boy was it fun. We had an incredible trip, but were so drained at the end and excited to be home with the kids. I love that city and hope that our kids want to live there in their 20s, but once you’ve moved away, it’s hard to picture your life again there (in good and bad ways). So excited to take the kids when they are teenagers – it’s really so inspiring.
White Fish, Montana
While we honestly don’t need to leave the PNW in the summer (people come from all over the world to be here), we wanted a change of scenery/vibe and took the 1-hour flight to Whitefish, Montana, for a 6-night stay.
We hiked Avalanche Lake in Glacier National Park (on a guided hike, which I wouldn’t recommend, but we didn’t have parking passes). The payoff at the end was awesome, but 6 miles was a lot for the kids.
We zip-lined at the ski resort (so fun), paddle boarded the river (serene), went white water rafting (do NOT do the full day, the 1/2 day was great/long enough), and rock climbing (with a guide). We made a couple of planning misses (where we stayed was kind of a bummer), and I think I overplanned our days, and spent too much time in the car driving to Glacier (staying in a lodge there would be rad). We transferred to the lodge on the water for the last night, and it was so fun to have a reading/pool day. All in all loved the town and vibe, had great food, and explored so much in nature. Also, next time we are taking the train from Portland – that looks so fun. Montana is really sooooo special.
Lots Of BBQs, Pickleball Ball, And Family/Neighborhood Hang Time
While the summer felt like it flew by, we had a lot of weekends where we just planned a really big Saturday – either a BBQ or a big hike/lunch/biking trip out with the kids.
The weather up here (mostly in the 70s and 80s) is hard to beat, and so many bodies of water to explore.
The kids had a lot of free rein with their friends (thank you, Jonathan Haidt) and mostly played outside until 3 pm with their friends (rewarded with some downtime – i.e., screens).
A 5 Night Cycling Tour On The San Juan Islands
While Brian planned New York, I was busy planning our first “lightly supported” cycling trip while the kids were in sleep-away camp in August. I could write many pages on why this was so awesome (happy to answer questions in the comments!), but it checked almost all boxes for us – all day in nature, active, dopamine/endorphins pumping, bonding, beautiful scenery, challenging, delicious food, exhausted bodies at the end of the day with so much bonding/talking and reading time. We stayed one night in Anacortes, took the ferry to Friday Harbour, biked 75 miles on San Juan over two days (south and northern loops), then 18 miles on Lopez Island (so beautiful and serene), and 30 miles on Orcas (but we rented the E-bikes that day – our bodies were DONE and it was so windy and hilly). We spent our last night at La Conner (adorable – we want to go back with the kids). Shout out to the incredible vintage store – Smörgåsbord on Orcas – I bought like 10 things I didn’t need.
I have mostly good reviews on the program we did (Lifecycle – self-guided), the routes, customer service, our guide Tom, and the app was great (just didn’t love the first bed & breakfast as much as we wanted to for the price). Again, it was self-guided, with support if we needed (so it was just the two of us on our own – they just helped move all our luggage or arrange reservations, etc). But you don’t need to do the program if you don’t mind schlepping your own stuff around (on bike or backpack) and researching and booking way out in advance. I was glad we did the program our first time because it forced us to actually do it (because it was expensive and non-refundable, lol), but next time, now that we know our limits/skills, we’ll try to just do it on our own (unless in a foreign country).
We had never done anything like this before so having a guide to ask questions was nice, as well as better understanding how many miles a day is perfect for us (20-30) and how many days in a row we’d want to do it next time (four days in a row was a bit much without a down day in the middle). We met so many people in the second half of their lives, seeing the world on bikes that honestly just seemed so happy and youthful (E-bikes have really opened up this world in such an incredible way).
I am SOLD on cycling trips every summer in our future, and it gives me something to look forward to when the kids go to college. It felt so enriching, fulfilling, and healthy – and that first ice-cold draft beer when you are all dirty and sweaty with your partner was pretty magical. And yes, we wore bib shorts with padded crotches and everything 🙂
We also went to Brian’s brother’s beautiful wedding weekend in Tahoe (so beautiful), spent three nights camping with a bunch of school friends (the best three days of the summer for the kids), and now we are hosting two of our closest long-time friends and their kids for my birthday weekend. Horsetail Falls, Scamania, Sugarpine, and the Dhalia festival – we’ll see all you this weekend.
I wrote a very long, rambling wanna-be profound essay on how it feels to be officially mid-life, career insecurities, feelings about external and internal age, and my emotions about the kids getting older. Maybe someday I’ll formulate it into the articulate essay that I’m brave enough to publish 🙂 As we all know, there is no perfect life, no perfect marriage, no perfect school or place to live. But boy am I so grateful to still be here, able to spend time with you all, my team, my husband of 19 years now, and my two favorite kids on the planet. Here’s to 46, I’m just so happy to still be here (in all the ways) and have you here 🙂 I really, really appreciate you all more than I know how to express.