Dating apps have revolutionized the way we connect and interact with people, especially in a sexual context.
Never before have we had access to so many new people at any time. Apps also connect people who normally wouldn’t be as available to connect, like shy folk and those who travel or work often.
Motivations to get on the apps differ, but they still have a reputation. Many people assume that if you’re using them, especially Tinder, you’re just looking for casual sex.
As a pioneer in the dating app world, Tinder quickly gained a reputation for hookups and has had a hard time shaking it. But that’s not the main motivation for swiping – so, what is?
Doing It for Science
Dating apps are probably one of the best anthropological examples of relationship intentions. They give us data about how people connect with each other, what people are attracted to, and other patterns in relationships.
Let’s explore some of the research.
Before apps began to rule the realm of online dating, we had online agencies and websites. This created the assumption that people using these agencies were looking for a relationship, while those using Tinder and other apps wanted a quick hook-up. One study debunked this, claiming that there actually wasn’t much of a difference in intentions between agencies and apps. The main difference is that those using apps tend to be a younger demographic.
So, what are the top reasons people use the apps? A 2018 online survey found that the top reasons people use the apps were to have fun and meet new people. Only 4% of people said they were specifically looking for sexual encounters although 72% of men and 22% of women were open to meeting a sexual partner on an app.
This study essentially found that while people were open to having sex with someone they met on an app, that wasn’t their main intention.
It’s not always about meeting people either. Some other studies found that people often use the apps to boost their self-esteem or out of boredom. Which can be problematic to those who are actually using them to meet people.
Yet another study identified the six main reasons people use Tinder as:
- Love
- Casual sex
- Ease of communication
- Self-worth validation
- The thrill of excitement
- Trendiness
In this study, people tend to be more motivated by love than sex and men were more motivated by casual sex than women were.
To throw in another plot twist, people also use dating apps to meet new people in a platonic way, especially when traveling or if they’ve moved to a new city. This seems to be more common in queer communities, where there’s more crossover between platonic, sexual, and romantic relationships.
No Shame in Casual Sex
There’s nothing wrong with casual sex if your intentions are clearly communicated and practicing safe sex by getting tested and using barrier methods to protect against STIs, as well as disclosing your status.
Love and sex aren’t mutually exclusive. People may have a casual hook-up that turns into more or people may be looking for a relationship but it ends up just being about sex. You never know how things will turn out, but the right thing to do is to be transparent with how your intentions develop.
To Each Their Own
So, is Tinder for sex or relationships? The answer is there’s no clear answer. Sex and romance are more nuanced than a ‘this or that’ question can answer.
Ultimately, dating apps are a tool for connection. They’re often a free way to connect with new people and see what comes from it. Although there is a lot of charge, both negative and positive, around them, at their core, they’re neutral. What matters is how you use them.
They’ve now been around for a while and have their own social etiquette. The reason you decide to use an app is ultimately up to you. What’s most important is that you’re 1) aware of and respecting your own boundaries, and 2) using clear and respectful communication with anyone you connect with.
Human relationships are complex and while the apps have given us a new tool, they’ve also arguably made relationships a bit more complicated. No matter your intentions, be kind and respectful while figuring out others’.
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