Great sex doesn’t just happen. It builds. Slowly, intentionally. It starts with a shift – out of your schedule, out of your head, and back into your body.
That’s what a pre-sex ritual is for. Not performance. Not perfection. Just presence. A way to set the tone, spark desire, and make intimacy feel less like a flip of a switch and more like a slow burn.
A pre-sex ritual isn’t about pressure or performance. It’s about creating a shift – giving your mind and body a chance to ease out of the day and into desire. Whether you’re feeling disconnected, touch-averse, low on energy, or just not in the mood… this ritual can help.
Think of it as a reset button: one that brings you back to your senses, grounds you in your body, and sets the tone for pleasure – solo or partnered.
Here’s how to build a pre-sex ritual that’s simple, intentional, and actually feels good.
Transition Out of Task Mode
Close the laptop. Silence the notifications. Dim the lights. Put on music that makes you feel sexy, calm, playful – whatever vibe you’re craving.
It’s hard to feel desire when you’re still half in your inbox or mentally recapping your day. Creating a buffer between the outside world and your inner world helps your body and mind sync up.
Try lying down or sitting for three deep breaths. Exhale slowly. Even a 60-second reset can help you get out of your head and into your body.
Touch Yourself (and Not Just Like That)
Moisturize your body – not in a rushed, going-out-the-door way, but with attention. Start at your ankles and work your way up. Slow it down. Notice what feels good. Breathe as you go.
This isn’t about being sexual (though it can be). It’s about reconnecting with the skin you’re in. When you treat your body like it deserves pleasure and care, it starts to believe you.
Nourish Yourself With Something That Loves You Back
Choose a meal that’s light, satisfying, and easy to digest. Think protein, greens, healthy fats – nothing too rich, too rushed, or too processed.
Heavy foods can leave you bloated, tired, or disconnected from your body. And when your body feels weighed down, desire rarely gets a chance to rise up. If you’re eating close to intimacy, take a digestive enzyme like BIOptimizers MassZymes*. It supports the breakdown of protein, carbs, and fats, so you feel light, comfortable, and confident – not stuck in digestion mode. It also supports nutrient absorption and energy production. Each vegan capsule delivers 322,000 units of protein-digesting enzymes and is completely dairy- and soy-free.
*Use code EMILY15 for 15% off BIOptimizers.
Hydrate for Real
Drink a full glass of water or calming herbal tea. If you’ve been sweating, drinking, or running on low, add some electrolytes.
Hydration impacts everything – your mood, energy, lubrication, even orgasm quality. A lot of people are slightly dehydrated without realizing it, and the fix is refreshingly simple.
Release the Pressure
Ask yourself: Am I trying to perform, or am I trying to connect?
The best sex doesn’t come from hitting a goal = it comes from being present. Let go of what it’s supposed to look like. You don’t need to be “in the mood” right away. You just need to be willing to explore what feels good.
Start Foreplay Before the Bedroom
Share a fantasy. Flirt. Kiss longer than usual. Light a candle, or play the song that always gets you going. Build tension before clothes come off – or before you even touch.
Foreplay isn’t one specific act – it’s a vibe. It starts when you decide to create one.
TL;DR (Too Long Didn’t Read): Your Pre-Sex Ritual Checklist
- Shift out of task mode
- Eat light + take MassZymes to help avoid bloating
- Hydrate
- Touch your body with care
- Let go of performance
- Start foreplay early
A pre-sex ritual helps you feel grounded, connected, and more available for pleasure. Because desire isn’t something you just switch on – it’s something you can set the stage for.