September 14, 2025
From September 16th to the 23rd, we celebrate Bisexual Awareness week, or BiWeek. BiWeek, which began in 2014, aims to promote acceptance and visibility of bisexual people like me. Bi folks make up 56.3 percent of LGBTQ+ people in the U.S., according to a 2022 Gallup poll. Yet they continue to face discrimination and erasure—the invalidation of their identity—even from other queer people.
For bisexual teens figuring out who they are, erasure can make what is often a confusing experience feel even more difficult. My experiences with erasure in the media and daily life have often made me feel insecure in my identity or misunderstood by the people around me.
When Media Gets It Wrong
A year ago I sat in front of my TV, hours deep into a marathon of the classic late 1990s/early 2000s show Sex and the City. Much to my surprise, an episode came on where the main character, Carrie Bradshaw, starts dating a bisexual man named Sean. While Carrie is initially head over heels for Sean, she becomes increasingly concerned by his sexual orientation. Ultimately, she breaks it off with him, at one point saying, “I’m not even sure bisexuality exists. I think it’s just a layover on the way to Gaytown.”
Watching the episode, I became really uncomfortable. While Sex and the City may feel a little dated, it’s hard to watch parts of your identity invalidated in the places you seek entertainment. More than anything, it was difficult to hear a line from a decades-old show be so reminiscent of things I’ve often heard in my own life. The ideas expressed in Sex and the City have been around for a long time and, frustratingly, are still around today.
Erasure from Within the Community
I realized I was bisexual in seventh grade. I came out around the same time as many of my friends and was lucky to go through the ups and downs of that experience alongside them. As I’ve gotten older, though, and become more comfortable expressing my sexual orientation, I’ve had many experiences where friends—even friends who are also queer—invalidate my identity instead of supporting it.
Among the things I’ve been told are:
● I’m gay because I’ve only gone on dates with girls.
● I’m lying to myself about being attracted to men.
● When I get older, I’ll “grow out” of my bisexuality.
● I need to “pick a side.”
Just a couple of weeks ago, a friend referred to me as a lesbian, despite knowing that I’m bi. There’s nothing wrong with being gay or heterosexual, but it is wrong to be told that you have to be one or the other.
From Invalidation to Celebration
Bi-erasure is harmful because it seeks to affirm a binary—a system in which there are only two options; in this case, fully gay or fully heterosexual—that doesn’t exist. Sexual orientation is on a spectrum, and while many people feel attraction at one end of the spectrum or the other, others lie somewhere in between.
You can be bisexual and have a stronger attraction to one gender. You can be bisexual and have only dated people of one gender. You can be bisexual and have never dated anyone.
The truth is, our identities are ours and ours alone. No one else should be able to say who you are or who you can love. So, this Bisexual Awareness Week, it’s time that we say goodbye to bi-erasure and celebrate bisexual people instead.