5 Things You Should Know About Having a Sexually Transmitted Infection
Is there any buzzkill quite like sexually transmitted infections?
They can absolutely retroactively ruin an otherwise perfectly fun and consensual hookup, and even contracting a less serious one can change how you feel about the person who gave it to you, whether they were a one-night stand or your spouse of many years.
While they’re far from the end of the world, and people who are very sexually active may just resign themselves to catching a few in the course of a sex life well spent, an ounce of prevention, as they say, is worth a pound of cure. Using barrier protection methods and/or pre-exposure prophylaxis is your best bet.
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But if that falls through and you find yourself suspecting or knowing you’ve caught something, how should you react? In order to get a better sense of how to respond to contracting an STI, AskMen spoke to a couple of sex experts. Here’s what they had to say:
Sexually Transmitted Infection Advice
What You Should Do: If You Suspect You Have an STI
Whether you noticed a potential symptom on your body or a partner’s, got a direct disclosure of an STI status from someone you slept with or just heard about someone’s status through the grapevine, worrying that you may have a sexually transmitted infection isn’t pleasant.
However, the natural urge many people have to simply ignore warning signs in the hopes they’ll go away is the exact opposite of what you should do if you suspect you have an STI.
“If you suspect you have an STI, take a breath and don’t panic,” says Dr. Justin Lehmiller, Lovehoney Scientific Advisor and Kinsey Institute Researcher. “STIs are very common, most are highly treatable, and they don’t have to mean the end of your sex or romantic life.”
Then he says, the first real step “is to visit a clinic or make an appointment with your healthcare provider to get tested.”
Even if you think there’s a fairly remote chance that you caught an infection, there are a number of reasons not to put off being tested, says Monica Lynne, a sex and relationship expert at the dating app Flirtini, an LMHC, AASECT-certified sex, intimacy and relationship therapist.
For one, preventing further spread if your sex partners are hooking up with other people as well. For two, preventing the infection from worsening by beginning a treatment plan ASAP.
“Bacterial STIs like chlamydia and gonorrhea can cause Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) in women and Epididymitis in men, which can cause chronic pain and lead to infertility in both,” Lynne notes.
“Viral STIs like HPV, HSV and HIV can also damage the immune system or lead to related cancers and further infections as well as have the possibility to remain in one’s system for life,” she adds. “Getting diagnosed and appropriate medications to treat STIs is essential to protect one’s body and health and the quicker they are treated the less discomfort, pain and damage occurs.”
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An important final step? If you’re worried you may have an STI, “refrain from partnered sex while you’re waiting for your test results” says Lehmiller.
What You Should Do: If You’re Diagnosed With an STI
As Lehmiller said above, if you test positive, don’t panic.
Despite the best attempts of medical science, STIs are quite common. Humans are complicated creatures when it comes to sex, and as much as it is best practice, we don’t always get tested often enough. Someone being a little careless passed something on to one person, that person being a little careless passed it on to someone else, and now you have it.
The common cold works much the same way, but we don’t demonize or shame people for having the sniffles.
“If your test results come back positive for an STI, your healthcare provider will advise on the best course of treatment and actions you should take. Be sure to follow their guidance,” says Lehmiller.
“This may include taking some type of medication, getting re-tested at a later date, avoiding partnered sex until the infection has cleared, making a safer-sex plan for the future, and informing current and former partners who should be tested as well,” he adds.
“The next important step is to alert past partners that could have been affected by the STI so that they can get treated as well and alert any of their partners,” says Lynne. “This can be especially important for men as almost all STIs may not show as symptomatic initially in men, which increases the rate of transmission.”
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As unpleasant as that conversation may feel ahead of time, it’s deeply important. A disclosure just like that might have saved you from getting your infection; you doing the brave and necessary thing and telling your past sex partner(s) could prevent many others from experiencing this particular unpleasantness.
What You Should Do: After Beginning Treatment
While it seems to be trendy in this day and age to question the advice of medical professionals, the science on STIs is sound.
“If you’re being treated for a curable STI, it’s important to complete the full course of treatment and wait to resume sexual activity until advised by your healthcare provider,” says Lehmiller.
“Giving the body the time to heal and rid itself of the bacteria or let viral symptoms dissipate so there is less chance of spreading through skin-to-skin contact/friction helps reset the body back to homeostasis and keep everyone safer from risk of infection,” Lynne explains.
However, it’s not 100% guaranteed that you’re in the clear for solo pleasure either. Depending on the STI you have, masturbation could lead to reinfection, so ask your doctor about best practices.
“Keep in mind that autoinoculation can occur through masturbatory play if hands are in contact with blisters, warts, fluids and then other areas of the body are touched,” Lynne says.
What You Should Do: If the STI Is Easily Treatable
As noted above, a good amount of STI transmission may amount to little more than some interactions with a healthcare professional, taking some antibiotics, informing any impacted parties, and refraining from sex for a bit — not exactly the nightmare fuel of so many high school sex-ed classes.
“Easily treatable STIs, like chlamydia, don’t involve a huge lifestyle disruption,” says Lehmiller. “Your healthcare provider will likely advise you to wait a week or two following treatment before resuming sexual activity.”
However, Lehmiller notes, “If you have a regular partner (or partners), they should also be tested and treated before resuming sex because if they have the infection, they can just pass it right back to you.”
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What You Should Do: If the STI Isn’t Easily Treatable
Most STIs — the bacterial ones — can be treated fairly easily with antibiotics and you can return to having fun sexcapades after a few weeks. But unfortunately, that’s not the case for all sexually transmitted infections. In particular, HIV and HSV2, also known as genital herpes, are viral infections for which treatment is much more complex.
“If you have an STI that is not curable, try not to panic. This does not have to mean the end of your sex life,” says Lehmiller. “Generally speaking, there will be a lot of things you can do to manage the infection and reduce the chances of passing it along to others. For example, in the case of herpes infection, antiviral medications can be used to reduce the frequency of outbreaks and minimize symptoms.”
“Likewise, in the case of HIV, medical treatments can suppress the infection to undetectable levels that virtually eliminate any chance of transmitting it.”
Thereafter, Lehmiller notes, you should “consult with your healthcare provider about the best course of medical treatment, practice safer sex (e.g., using condoms or barriers), and communicate with your partner(s).”
Lots of progress has been made in recent years to address these trickier STIs. Lynne notes that “taking Valacyclovir daily is an option in the case of HSV to decrease the amount of shedding of the virus.”
As for HIV, “Taking antiretroviral therapy (ART) if one contracts HIV can help reduce the viral load,” Lynne adds.
She also emphasizes the importance of “disclosing to all partners past, present and future so that they can get tested and if HIV negative can get on PrEP if they plan to continue engaging sexually with an HIV+ partner.”
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While STIs like HIV and HSV2 will be dealbreakers for many people, not everyone sees them that way. Beyond finding partners who understand sexual health topics enough not to be freaked out by the mere mention of an STI, lots of sexual play doesn’t necessitate genital touching.
“It’s also important to practice self-care and be kind to yourself because, in the case of incurable STIs, people often feel guilt or shame,” says Lehmiller. “If you find yourself struggling emotionally, speak to a licensed therapist and consider joining a support group,” or checking out online STI resources like this one from Lovehoney.
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“STIs are somewhat of an unavoidable part of being sexually active, yet often people struggle with shame around the topic once contracting an STI,” says Lynne. “If we can increase education and help people lead with transparency, we can reduce the shame and awkwardness.”
“Getting tested regularly and protecting partners increases the safety and integrity of those we sexually engage with by giving others all the information, so they can make informed decisions about their body.”
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